


Classic Rodney

by GuardianOwlet



Category: Stargate - Fandom, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-08
Updated: 2012-04-24
Packaged: 2017-11-03 06:06:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardianOwlet/pseuds/GuardianOwlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blissful Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a couple of years ago, and thought I may as well put it up. Hope you like it!

Jennifer Keller looked down at the silent Rodney. Silence was unusual for Rodney McKay, but when you’ve fainted, then been sedated, it’s kind of un-optional. And fainting is what you get when you step into an untested machine in the ‘City of the Ancients.’ Whereas being sedated was a special privilege reserved for the ‘Complaining Doctor’ himself.

Dr Keller began to hum a tune to a song, the words of which she’d forgotten, as she picked up a clipboard, ticked a few boxes, and then looked back a Rodney. She gently pulled off a few wires that were stuck to his head, careful not to wake him up, and then scribbled her signature underneath the ticks.

“Mmmmnnnn.” Rodney stirred.

Keller looked up quickly.

“Eeeee, equalllllls emmmmm seeeeee squarrrred.” He murmured.

She smiled wryly, the sedative was beginning to wear off; Rodney was starting to dream.

Keller quickly put down the clipboard and headed for the exit. Somebody else could deal with the ‘Complaining Doctor’ when he woke up. After all, she had just finished signing his release papers; he was fine; the only problem was he wouldn’t believe that.

“A Whale!” Rodney said loudly, as she walked out the infirmary doors.


	2. Blocked Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.

John Sheppard closed his eyes and internally blocked his ears, keeping his hands firmly on his P-90 whilst doing so.  
He had only met a few others who could do this, ‘internally’ block their ears.  
There was Colonel Carter, she was fairly good at it, and Teyla wasn’t too bad. Zelenka wasn’t that good yet, but learning fast and Ronan was at around his own level.  
But of course there was only one master at it, Jeannie, their ‘whole reason for doing it’‘s sister. It’s no wonder; really, she had a whole 20 year head start than the people who now lived on Atlantis.  
The best thing about internally blocking you ears was the fact that it only blocked one thing out, Dr Rodney McKay. Instead of a steady stream of comprehendible words, or at least ones that were English, his voice turned into a buzz, sort of like a bee.

 _‘It was annoying,’_ thought Sheppard, _‘but hey, at least he didn’t have to make sense of what Rodney was saying.’_

John felt a tapping on his shoulder and, rolling his eyes, unblocked his ears, “What is it now, Rodney?” he asked gingerly.

“Does this look red to you?” Rodney asked shoving his arm in his companions face.

“No.” replied Sheppard, not bothering to look.

“Huh,” Rodney stopped walking and squinted at his arm, “hey wait!” He called, running back up to Sheppard, “Why do we have to go back to this lab again? I mean, I was knocked out! And, more importantly, why couldn’t you bring someone else?”

John contemplated blocking his ears again, but spotted the lab where Rodney had fainted earlier up ahead, “Because we need the best looking into it.”

Rodney put on a smug smile, “Well, I’m obviously the best, so I suppose I could take a crack at it.” They entered the lab together, “Um, John what’s that?”

“Well, with your ‘brain power’ I thought that you of all people must know that it’s a kid!”

“Yeah, well I was just checking.”

“The more important question is how did it get here?”


	3. Roddie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.

“He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Ronon looked up from the unconscious boy to see Jennifer standing behind him, “Yeah, he is.”

He watched her as she bent down and lifted one of the boys blond curls out of his face.

“How old do you think he is?” she whispered, turning back to face him.

“I dunno he looks pretty small, five, maybe?” he looked at the still form lying in the infirmary bed carefully.

The boy stirred.

“He’s waking up!” Jennifer hit her intercom, “John, Rodney, the boy you found is waking up.”

“Mmmnnnn,” the boy murmured, “don’ eat me Mr Whale!”

Ronon heard heavy footfalls as John came running into the infirmary, Rodney following a few seconds behind.

“So, is he up yet?” John said quickly, looking from Keller to Ronon, and then the boy.

The boys’ eyes flashed open, “Where am I?” He said groggily, “Oh, hiya Wonon, Dennifer, Don and me, what’s up?”

Rodney’s eyes turned bulbous, “What did you just call me?”

“Me.” The small boy said, “Dennifer, Can I have a hug?” He reached out his hands toward her.

Keller immediately picked up the child, John ruffled his light curls.

“Wait, wait!” Rodney said, “Um, kid, what’s your name?”

The small boy turned his big blue eyes over to Rodney, his curls fallen in a disarray all over his face, “My name is Mewidith Wodney McKay, but I like the name Woddie, don’t you?”

Rodney’s mouth dropped open a split second before he hit the ground; he’d fainted again.


	4. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.

Teyla looked quietly at the young boy that was clinging to Dr Keller’s neck, but was looking over her shoulder at Rodney, who had already woken up.

“So, you are Rodney?” John asked him again.

The boy turned to face him, “Yes, but I like the name Woddie better.”

“Okay......Roddie, how did you get here?” Sheppard continued, though a little gentler.

Roddie screwed up his face in thought, “Well, I stepped into a weird machine, and den I woke up an’ saw you guys!”

“Hold on a second!” Rodney shook his head and walked out from behind Jennifer, “ _I_ stepped into a ‘weird machine’.”

Roddie stared solemnly up into his older self’s eyes, “Am I weally gonna end up as ugly as you?”

Rodney took a step back, shocked. John and Ronon roared with laughter.

Teyla stood up, “I’m sorry, Roddie, but if what you say is true, then it would seem that you and Rodney have both experienced the same thing.”

Roddie nodded, “Which means he’s a clone.” He said, pointing to Rodney.

Rodney shook his head again, “I’m not the clone, I’m the same as I was before, which means _you’re_ the clone!”

The small boys eyes welled up, “Wahhhh! He called me a clone!” He snuggled into Dr Keller’s shoulder, giving small hiccups.

“There was no need to make him go and cry.” mumbled Jennifer.

Ronon stood up quickly, and pointed his gun at Rodney, “You make him cry again and it’s the last thing you’ll ever do.” He said, looking at Keller quickly.

“Way to go, Rodney.” said Sheppard, sarcastically.

“There was no need to be so blunt with the child, Rodney.” Teyla said, shaking her head slowly.

Rodney walked grumpily out of the infirmary behind Dr Keller.

Roddie flashed a wicked smile at his older self as Jennifer carried him into her room.


	5. Brainwashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.

Rodney ate breakfast half-heartedly the next morning.  
The appearance of a younger and supposedly _nicer_ version of himself was getting on his nerves; the entire city was abuzz with the news of the little child genius. Rodney shovelled another spoonful into his mouth angrily; the little boy was just as smart as he was, and was using it to his advantage.

“Hi Rodney.”

McKay looked up to the cheerful face of Zelenka; he glowered even harder.

“Amazing, simply amazing about your clone, isn’t it? I’ve been looking at him all morning; well, since 4:00am. That little slugger gets up early, doesn’t he?”

Rodney looked up, not even trying to keep the pained look off his face, “He’s using you, can’t you see? He _wants_ everyone to like him, to worship hi-.”

“He’s even given me a nickname! I am now Unca Zel Zel. How cute is that!” Zelenka cut Rodney off, “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Rodney stood up abruptly, “Never mind.” He stalked off.

Zelenka looked on at MacKay’s retreating back, “Was it something I said?”


	6. Unca Zel Zel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.

Zelenka shook his head at the sour McKay, smiling. He looked at his watch, and immediately jumped up; he was almost late for another session with Roddie. The smile reappeared on Radek’s face as he thought of the ‘Mini McKay’.

‘ _He is so like Rodney,_ ’ he thought, walking quickly to his office, _‘I don’t think they really know how alike they are.’_ He gave a small shout of laughter, ‘ _They even like the same woman!’_

“Unca Zel Zel!”

Zelenka started as Roddie’s small voice shouted down the corridor. As always he was being followed by Jennifer, or Dennifer, as Roddie said with his child-like voice.

“Come back in the room Roddie.” Said Keller quietly, trying to catch the boy whilst being followed herself by Ronan.

“Come on Bud,” said Ronan, “Or I’m gonna have to stun you.”

Roddie stopped dead in his tracks, and turned around slowly; Jennifer immediately picked him up and placed him on Ronan’s shoulders, “You can’t get down from there!” she laughed, ‘stealing’ his nose.

Roddie gave a laugh, “Bye, bye, Dennifer. I’m gonna have another talk with Unca Zel Zel!”

Keller lifted him down unhappily, “Well, okay,” she turned to Zelenka, “Take good care of him!”

Zelenka nodded, “Of course, Jennifer. I was planning on introducing him properly to Rodney.”

Roddie looked quickly up at Radek, “Aww, man...” he mumbled inaudibly as he dropped Jennifer’s hand.


	7. Insolence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.

Rodney stared silently across the table at his child clone, who just so happened to be doing exactly the same thing, but to his older self. Zelenka stood to one side, debating whether or not bringing Roddie to meet Rodney had been the right thing to do.

“Roddie.” Said Rodney slowly, nodding at his clone.

“Wodney.” Said Roddie, copying his older self to the letter.

“So, guys, what do you want to do?” Zelenka asked, in a hope to get the twin McKays talking.

“Get away from him.” They said in unison, pointing to their opposite self, “Oh you do, do you?” They glared at one another.

“Rodney, Roddie, please. It isn’t healthy for you to be at ends with each other all the time!”

They rounded on Zelenka, “I’m a grown man! I don’t need YOU worrying about my health!” burst Rodney.

“I have better fings to do fank you very much!” Roddie grumbled.

“Finally something we can agree on!” Rodney sided with his miniature, “how old are you anyway?”

“According to my calculations the young Rodney would be precisely six years of a—“

“He wasn’t talking you Unca Zel Zel!” Roddie said sighing, “Besides, your calculations are incorrect.”

“Yes,” said Rodney, “With a child lisp like that I would say he was more likely in the three to four period.”

“Precisely.” Roddie replied, beaming at Rodney.

Zelenka watched horrified as the McKays continued to chat about his incapability to do the simplest task, “What have I done?” He moaned quietly.


	8. Playing the Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney's affliction with alternate versions of himself continues, as he gets introduced to an interesting little boy.

Sam could barely believe her eyes when she spied the two Rodneys being civil to each other. They left Zelenka’s study together, throwing dark looks over each of their shoulders at Radek, who trailed behind them.

“You are an extremely intelligent four-year-old.” Rodney said, uncharacteristically gushing towards the blonde boy beside him.

“Well, I do grow up into you.” Roddie responded in kind, smiling broadly.

Sam shook her head, this wasn’t natural.

“Rodney,” she called, speeding up to intercept the two of them, “can I talk to you for a moment?”

“I was just delivering Roddie to Jennifer, actually, but I guess he can find his own way there.”

Roddie nodded proudly.

“Uh,” Sam paused, “that won’t be necessary, Radek, would you be kind enough to accompany Roddie to Doctor Keller?”

“Of course.” He said, somewhat happily, though his haunted expression said something to the otherwise.

Sam and Rodney watched as Zelenka hurried Roddie along, not nearly as relaxed with the young child as he had been that morning.

“Now Unca Zel Zel, Dennifer will be very happy to see me, wont she? She will, cause I have been gone a looong time!”

He nodded half-heartedly, looking forward to dropping off the tiny handful of Doctor.

As they rounded the corner Sam turned to look at Rodney, her voice was hushed as she spoke, though it rang with authority, “Give me an answer to your change in attitude now, I mean it McKay.”

Rodney smiled, his usual smug grin replaced by something much fiercer, “I’m playing his game.” He said simply.  
  



End file.
